Social Media and Relationships
This is a subject that i'm super passionate about and have pretty strong opinions on. I go into much more depth on this subject in THIS episode on the podcast! Head over there and listen if you want more context or just to hear my voice. ;)
I believe social media has a huge impact on our relationships, often in ways we don't fully understand. I wanted to share a short story I wrote a few years back in hopes to paint a picture to start this post off about social media and relationships!
The Bike Story
Imagine you get a new bike, it’s red and it’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of, the handlebars have soft grips that are so comfortable for your hands, it has 6 different gears and it’s fast just like you wanted. Then you take your new bike out and you’re cruising down the trail, couldn’t be happier, then suddenly you see someone approaching you coming the opposite direction super fast, his bike is blue and it has 10 gears, not just 6. His bike shoots flames out the back as he cruises the trail and he doesn’t even have to have his hands on the handlebars, his bike pretty much steers and controls itself. As he passes quickly your jaw drops to the ground as you’ve never seen anything like that before.
Suddenly you’re not excited about your bike anymore. It’s lame, it only has 6 gears, no fire shoots out and you have to steer it yourself. Your mood is now shot as you wish you could have gotten a better bike like the one that you just saw. As you slowly pedal down the trail you see another bike approaching in the opposite direction, this bike is rusted, it’s a brownish gray color and doesn’t have any gears. 1 gear and that’s it. The handlebars are non-existent and he is just holding on to the metal bar. It squeaks as he pedals past and you see him looking at your bike with the same eyes that you had looking at the blue bike that you just passed. You now feel a little better, you’re grateful that you have a bike that doesn’t squeak as you ride, you’re happy that you have soft grips to make your hands comfortable and you have 6 gears that allow you to climb hills easier and more enjoyably.
You continue on your ride until you decide you’re ready to head back home. As you head back down the path on your way home you see a blue bike laying on the side of the trail and you notice that the man who cruised passed you earlier is sitting on the side of the trail with a scraped knee and his head bowed. You pull over to ask what happened and if everything was alright. He let’s you know that his bike has been giving him so much trouble and it keeps speeding out of control because of the flames that give it an extra boost and since he doesn't have good grip handlebars he has a hard time controlling the bike and he often crashes and gets scraped up only to get back up and have it happen all over again.
Social Media and Relationship Comparisons
Now this is kind of a corny little analogy that I came up with and I think it can apply to MANY things in life, but today I wanted to relate it to relationships.
Social media makes it easy to assume things about people and their relationships based off of what they post. They can portray that they have an amazing relationship and it can cause other people to look at that and be jealous or feel unhappy with their current relationship if it doesn’t seem as exciting, as intimate, as fun and spontaneous as how someone portrays their relationship to be.
But often times it’s like the bike story. Maybe you’ve got something great in your relationship then you start seeing someone else’s whose relationship is portrayed to be seemingly “better” than yours leaving you possibly feeling unhappy with what you’ve got. Then on the flip side you could always compare your relationship to someone who has it worse off than you and feel better about yours but really? Is that necessary? Is that a healthy productive way to be in a relationship?
Beyond that, social media(OR DEVICES IN GENERAL) can be a distraction from the very person you love most. And take you further away from them, what they want, how they're feeling etc.
Distraction and Disconnection
Beyond comparisons, social media and devices can distract us from the people we care about most. How often have you seen couples glued to their phones instead of engaging with each other? This distraction takes us away from meaningful connections and conversations with our partners.
You've heard the saying, “You can’t get your time back.” This resonates deeply, reminding us to prioritize what truly matters. Is the glowing screen more important than the glowing face of the person in front of you? If you were to lose one, which would affect you more?
Tips to Improve Relationships Affected by Social Media
- Limit Social Media Use: Set boundaries for when and how long you use social media. Allocate specific times for checking your accounts to avoid constant distractions.
- Engage in Quality Time: Dedicate uninterrupted time to your partner. Put your phones away during meals, dates, and conversations.
- Communicate Openly: Discuss the impact of social media on your relationship. Share your feelings and establish mutual agreements on how to handle digital distractions.
- Focus on Your Relationship: Instead of comparing your relationship to others, focus on improving and appreciating what you have. Remember, every relationship is unique.
Moving forward!!
Social media can distort our perceptions and distract us from what truly matters. By being honest with yourself about how social media affect your relationships, we can get ahead of issues on the horizon or even eliminate social media as something that can cause a wedge in our relationships at all.
Don’t let the fear of missing out online cause you to miss out on the beautiful moments in your real life. Prioritize your relationships, engage fully with your loved ones, and cherish the time you have together!
What are your thoughts on how social media affects relationships? Leave a comment below and let’s chat!
xx
Carly
